Aww, heck!

Have you ever just wanted to sit down and cry? I've been feeling that way for the past week. Being a single parent to 3 children is rather difficult. Add in a beloved spouse away in the military and it gets quite a bit harder. Add in homeschooling and your nerves get stretched even more.

Recently, I hit my "breaking point." Today, my kids were supposed to go over to their grandparent's house so that I could have a few hours away from them. Unfortunately, ever since they started wrestling, my middle son just keeps getting sick! He got over one cold and then BAM! He got hit by another one and it really came to a head last night. Nasty hacking cough and spiking fevers. Oh, yeah. My favorite kind... *serious sarcasm here*

Mind you, I didn't have any amazing plans for today. I just need the time away from the kids for awhile. I had actually planned on maybe grabbing a cup of coffee at Starbucks and then heading to the store for some cereal and milk. Then I was just going to come back home, turn on the stereo, and do some sewing. I can still do a lot of that, it's just going to stretch my patience more. Since it's stretched pretty far as it is, I'm really not looking forward to going to the store. They're immediately going to start whining about where I choose to go shopping. Then they'll start whining about wanting to go look at the toys. Then they'll start whining about wanting to get something. Then they'll start whining... See the pattern here? To me, at least lately, all they can do is whine. Hmm... And here I am whining. LOL Maybe they're getting it from me.

I found a good verse that I should memorize for times like these. It's Ephesians 4:1-3 (ESV).

"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

This is Paul speaking to the church in Ephesus. He is the "I" in this verse. However, when he tells the members of the church to "walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called," it does reach out across the ages, doesn't it? I was called to be a mother. I was called to homeschool my children. My husband and I went through many 'battles' with the Army before they'd even allow him in. Now that he's in, I have to accept that the Army pretty much owns him now. They say "go" and he has to go. For now, it's away from us. I'll need to accept that and allow God to guide me during these tough times.

So now, there is a blessed moment of clarity and understanding. A blessed, and much needed, sense of peace. Now to remember it and hold on to it as I walk back out and face the boys.